ICH3#54 Sticky w/ Hope and Just Fritz

Iron City H3 – Trail #54: The “We Swear This One Won’t Suck (Much)” Pre-Christmas Miracle
When: Friday, December 19, 2025 – because nothing screams “holiday spirit” like running around Pittsburgh in the dark while it’s 19°F out.
Where: Garvey’s – 41 Sterling St, Pittsburgh, PA 15203
(The bar that’s seen things. Terrible, terrible things. Mostly us.)
Hared by: Sticky w/ Hope and Just Fritz

Schedule:
6:30 PM – Show up, & try not to scare the bar patrons
7:00 PM – Chalk talk (we’ll explain trail marks again because half of you still think BN means “Beer Now”)
7:03 PM – Trail starts (or whenever the hares stop arguing about whose flour is whose)

Trail promises:

100% expect to be disappointed
At least three beer stops, one of which will definitely run out before the FRBs get there
Contra stops that accept only exact change
Shiggy level: somewhere between “mildly annoying” and “divorce papers”
Possible sightings of flying reindeer (or DFLs on Red Bull, hard to tell)

Mandatory gear:

Cash for contras
Empty stomach and full liver
Friends (extra points if they’ve never hashed and still think this is a running club)
Headlamp, dry shoes, change of clothes, and a safe word
Your dignity (optional – will be returned in worse condition)

Cost: We never charge hash cash. Your therapy bills are on you.
On-After: Just Fritz’s rectory – yes, an actual rectory.

Attendance is MANDATORY.
If you don’t show, we’ll assume you’ve been kidnapped by elves and send the pack to rescue you… eventually. Probably next March.
Pro tip: Santa isn’t real, but the hangover on December 20th definitely is.
On-On, you filthy animals!

### Iron City H3 Trail Safety Tips
*(Because apparently some of you still think natural selection is negotiable)*

1. Headlamp or flashlight – It’s dark. There are holes. Holes win if you can’t see them. Bonus: it makes you look like a discount coal miner.

2. Whistle – Not for refereeing, for when you fall in a ravine and need the pack to pretend they’re coming back for you.

3. Phone with emergency contacts – Program ICE as “Someone who actually likes me”

4. Reflective gear or something that isn’t black – Pittsburgh drivers already can’t see pedestrians in broad daylight. Help them out.

5. Dry bag with change of clothes/shoes – Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like trench foot and frostbitten nipples.

6. Tell someone where you’re going – Preferably someone who isn’t also hashing, so there’s at least one sober person who knows you’re missing.

7. Don’t be a hero on ice – Black ice is nature’s way of saying “slow the fuck down, FRB.”

8. Know your limits – If three beers at the start already has you seeing trails that aren’t there, maybe walk with the pack instead of sprinting into Narnia.

9. Buddy system – Grab a friend. If you both fall in the river, at least you can laugh about it while dying of hypothermia together.

10. Don’t pet the wildlife – That raccoon is not “friendly,” it’s rabid and judging your life choices.

13. Hydrate – Yes, beer is technically a liquid, but water prevents the “I woke up in a nativity scene” stories.

14. If lost, follow the sound of off-key singing – It’s either the pack or a frat party. Both will eventually lead to beer.

Stay alive out there, half-minds.
We’d hate to have to rename a trail after you…

On-On